Day 5 - Training and Self-Reflection
I could write a lot today, but I’m feeling tired and I have real stuff to do tomorrow so I’m trying to go to bed at a decent time. You get the abridged version of my day. I got up at 7:30; training day 2 began at 8:30. We discussed legal issues, different types of punishment (detention, arrest, deportation), interrogations, and a few other things. At 11:00, we took a break to go see observe a demonstration celebrating/honoring Yasser Arafat. That was probably the best part of my day. I saw hundreds of Palestinians marching and cheering with flagrant pride, something I know Israel hates to see. Palestinian teenagers kept approaching us to talk, which was a lot of fun, but they wanted to take pictures and record us and we had to turn them down (to protect our anonymity). After the demonstration, we went shopping and I bought a keffiyeh made by Hirbawi, the last keffiyeh factory in Palestine and the only company that sells authentic keffiyeh. Unfortunately I can’t wear it anywhere other than Flat because it immediately flags me as a supporter of Palestinians.
Speaking of “other than Flat”, today was the last day of training. I received my assignment to an area of northeastern Palestine I’ll call Varsity. We leave at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow. In Varsity, I will be doing night watches. Every night, starting when it begins to get dark (around 4:00 p.m.), a partner and I will go outside and watch for settlers. Once it’s 11:00 p.m., one of us sleeps outside while the other watches, and we switch from 1:30 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. Then we get picked up, taken to a specific house in Varsity, sleep, debrief about the previous night, and do it all over again. I’ve been told Varsity faces less settler violence and confrontation than other places. It might sound a bit ineffective, but the Palestinians that organize our work know what they’re doing. K explained it to me like this: the first benefit is mental, the second is bodily, and the third is materially. More than anything else, our presence and solidarity gives the Palestinians peace of mind. Someone said it is like receiving a visit in prison. We’re can’t break them out, but we can stand with them and show our support. Next, the Palestinians are able to get sleep. Imagine how you would sleep knowing that any second a gang of settlers with guns or gasoline could kill and destroy anything you care about, with nothing in their way and no repercussions. We help them rest and stay sharp. We help materially because we are also asked to assist with chores or labor.
I had a lot of time to practice Arabic with K and G. It’s so fucking hard, but also really rewarding since I get to speak with Palestinians in their language a little more every day. K and G made one of the best meals I’ve ever had. K made shakshouka, a northwest African dish that’s basically just eggs poached in tomato paste (I swear it’s so much better than it sounds). We also had falafel, homemade fries, hummus, goat cheese marinated in oil, bread, and a mountain weed that K prepared with onions (also way tastier than it sounds).
Before I’m done writing, I’d like to reflect a bit about some things we discussed in training. You can skip this part if you just want to know what I did today. We discussed white supremacy and saviorism, frequent disrupters of this kind of work. Two things stood out to me as things I could work on. One was regarding my view of Palestinians as superhuman. Not literally, but I find myself occasionally thinking about them as deserving some respect unique among all people’s due to their suffering and resilience in the face of decades of genocide. This is true to an extent, but not when you start to think of Palestinians as deserving no criticism, or not when you ignore flaws of individuals because of their suffering. K said he sees the latter as a form of racism. If a Palestinian is being an asshole, not acknowledging that does a disservice to Palestinians by effectively treating them as above reproach. There are no people above reproach, so to treat Palestinians that way is to not treat them as people. This is something I should look out for. The other thing I’d like to reflect on relates to my personal relationship with this work. I think I’ve been doing a poor job centering Palestinians. In my mind, my writing, and my speaking with others, too often I find myself focused on me. To be brutally honest, I like to consider what kind of person it makes me that I do this work, to imagine what others think of me, to feel as if I’m doing some grand goodness that others don’t dare to do. This is bad, obviously. I’d like to change that. I need all of this for Palestinians, not for myself. I should be writing and speaking to spread awareness of the situation Israel has put them in. I should risk and sacrifice to protect others and to give others peace, not to add moral actions to my imaginary list accomplishments. I should be patient and content with no action, not trying to have a good story to tell people when I get home. This is hard for me, but I’m glad it was brought up now so I can act and think with this in mind.